Americans Suck the Joy Out of Life
Americans. Incredible at so many things, but God, do we suck the absolute joy out of life sometimes.
Take, for example, food. Of course, there’s fast food, which, unfortunately, we’ve managed to export to countries all over the world. Yeah, it’s convenient, but I liken it to putting poison into your body and one of the most joyless experiences anyone could have. So, if you are ok with that, I guess it’s fine.
Right now the trend is buying meal kits and prepared food, which is not the most horrible thing in terms of making healthy choices, but we’re bypassing the process (and absolute pleasure) of eating a great meal: shopping for fresh ingredients, preparing and cooking the food, setting a beautiful table, and then actually sitting down with friends and/or family and sharing a meal. This isn’t drudgery - though companies want us to think it is-- these are the pleasures that make life worth living.
Then, of course, there is our relationship to our clothes or our lack thereof. Just like fast food, there is fast fashion. Buying fast fashion is quite possibly the most depressing experience I have ever had. The only worse experience is wearing these cheap clothes that fall apart after you wear them a few times. I’ve been in Zara and H & M a handful of times and I remember a depression and melancholy coming over me as I had never experienced before. There was something so sad about these cheap clothes in various states of disarray.
Wearing something that you love and feeling beautiful in it--that is a process and a fun one at that--but it takes time and requires a little bit of patience. It starts with some fundamentals: knowing who you are and what your style is (or what you want it to be). Next, you have to look and search and try things on until you fall in love and find ‘the one’ - that perfect coat, a gorgeous dress, a beautiful sweater.
This is a process not to be rushed and gotten over with. Au contraire--it is one that should be savored and enjoyed. And then, wow, bonus! You get to wear whatever beautiful pieces you’ve fallen in love with and have made yours. That’s when all of your time and effort has paid off as you sashay around looking and feeling gorgeous in your treasured clothes.
We can make a conscious decision to live this way and have an experience that is uniquely human--to wear clothes and adorn ourselves.
Nowadays, there is such a focus on tech, innovation, and efficiency. It’s even more important to embrace things that slow us down, make us feel good, and connect us to our humanity. The non-techy pleasures of life like eating the most delicious plate of pasta. Or wearing a gorgeous dress that you are head over heels in love with and would never in a million years part with.
When I was growing up, clothes were a priority. My parents were immigrants from Sicily and looking disheveled, too casual, or God forbid, messy would bring all sorts of shame to ‘la famiglia’.
But my parents also enjoyed the experience of looking for, buying, and wearing beautiful clothes. And if they couldn’t afford something, they’d save up for it. There was a beauty to the way they shopped and dressed and it didn’t involve buying something new every week and cramming their closets full of clothes.
Since we lived right outside of New York City, we had frequent visitors from Sicily and lots of extended family wanted to visit.
One particular friend of the family made a big impression on me. He came over often because he had business in New York City and he was always dressed to the nines. Not a sneaker or hoodie in sight. He had the most amazing luxurious coats and you could tell he got a lot of satisfaction from wearing them.
You know how at a party, people in the US ask each other what they do for a living? And a lot of times, let’s face it, we’re sizing each other up based on that. Well, in Sicily, you get sized up in different ways. One of them is the way you present yourself. Another is how you eat and what kind of food you serve other people. I think that demonstrates each of the culture’s values. Americans could learn a thing or two from my Sicilian family. That there are joys in life that are not meant to be squeezed in...but rather made a priority.